Scar: I'm Too Sexy
by Jagabor
Summary: Song Parody. One day, Scar sees himself in a whole new way. Randomness ensues.


_Hi...I regret to inform you that I, Jagabor, have writers block. Therefor, there will be no update for OKaT2 this week.I'll try to come up with something, soon. I am sorry..sniffle. But what I can give you is this. This is what happens when Jagabor is really bored. Inspired by numerous YouTube videos. Set to the tune of "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred. Story before and after, I'll put the song in italics. You should know that anything in brackets is during the song is an action, not a lyric. Please forgive typos, review, and enjoy(My sad attempt at humor)! I am not gay! Just really random! No flames, please!_

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Scar: I'm Too Sexy

It was Scar's first day as king, and already things had not been going as smoothly as the scarred-lion thought they would.

The lionesses kept crying about the deaths of Mufasa and Simba. Scar could not be around them, for fear that he might burst into laughter.

The hyenas would not shut up about how hungry they were. Even when they were stuffing their faces with fresh carcasses, they kept whining about starvation. It was worse than a set of claws dragging across a stone wall(Which never bothered Scar at all.)

Of course, Scar also had the sad duty of banishing every wildebeest that he had not fed to the hyenas. After all, he couldn't risk them telling the Pride Landers "Their side of the story." That would ruin everything!

And to make matters worse, the Pride Lands was hit with a huge thunderstorm that very day. And, as it so happened, the roof of the Royal Den was leaking. Luckingly for Scar, he was able to gather some stones and confine the leaking water to one small area.

Scar paced back and forth in his den, awaiting a report from Zazu, just as he had been all morning. The king of the Pride Lands snarled quietly.

"What is taking that annoying feather-duster so long?" Scar grumbled, "I should have received a report from him hours ago! I am the king! I should have what I want, when I want! After all, that is how it was with my brother! What makes me so different?"

Scar walked to the back of his den and sat next to the large collection of water. The king let out a heavy sigh and looked at his reflection.

"Life's not fair, is it?" Scar sighed, staring into his reflection's eyes, "Even as a king, I am direspected. I am underappreciated. I am unloved. I am..."

Scar's eyes widened with shock as he looked over his reflection. He had never truly looked at his reflection before. And now that he had...he loved it! His sleak, black mane. His bright, green eyes. The way the brown fur accented the his dark eyelids. How his scar sat perfectly vertical across his left eye...It was then that Scar realized something.

"I AM ONE SEXY LION!"

_I'm too sexy for my pride, too sexy for my pride  
They're going to love me!_

_(Music Starts. Scars begins dancing around and singing affeminently. Be Prepared comes to mind, but remeber that this is to the tune of I'm Too Sexy)_

I'm too sexy for my scar, too sexy for my scar,  
So sexy it mars.  
And I'm too sexy for my mane, too sexy for my mane.  
How could I complain?

And I'm too sexy for the Pride Lands!  
Too sexy for the Pride Lands!  
The way I rule the kingdom!

I was Taka, but now I am Scar,  
And I rule here in my den, up on Pride Rock!  
Yeah up on Pride Rock, yeah!  
I the hyenas have become part of my flock!

I'm too sexy for my paws, too sexy for my paws  
I am wirthout flaws!  
And I'm too sexy for my genes,  
Too sexy for my genes, now all I need's a queen!

I'm a king, now, you know what I mean,  
Cause I caused my brother's death with a stampede!  
Yeah with a stampede, with a stampede, yeah  
And I blamed my own nephew for my misdeed!  


_(Break in song. Music continues. Lalalala. Okay, back to words.)_

_  
I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my_

'Cos I killed Mufasa, you all know the tale,  
And I'm the king, now, so all hail!  
Yeah now, all hail, now all hail, yeah!  
I succeeded, and he he failed!

I'm too sexy for my friends too sexy for my friends,  
Poor creatres, poor hyena-friends!  
I'm too sexy for my pride, too sexy for my pride  
They're going to love me!

And I'm too sexy to be king!

(Scar stops singing. Music stops. Lights stop flashing.)

Scar turned away from his reflection and turned to wards the outside of his den. His eyes widened at what he saw; Zazu, with his jaw dropped in shock. Scar leaped backwards looked around the den nervously.

"Err...H...How long have you been there?" Scar asked sheepishly.

"Two minutes, fifty eight seconds," Zazu stated, looking at Scar as if he had two heads.

"I...I see," Scar nodded.

Zazu and Scar both looked away from each other and rubbed the back of their necks.

"Right..." Zazu stated awkwardly, "I'll...Just be going, then."

Zazu turned around and began to fly off. Just seconds after Zazu had lifted from the ground, Scar grabbed the hornbill by the tail and threw him to the back ot the Royal Den. The king then took a ribcage that was left over from breakfast and placed it over Zazu, trapping the bird inside.

"What are you doing!" Zazu cried, trying and failing to squeeze between the ribs, "Release me at once!"

"Not a chance!" Scar smirked, "Did you really expect me to just let you leave after you seeing...that? No. You're going to stay here, where I can make sure that you tell no one of this!"

"But, Sire, I..." Zazu protested.

"SILENCE!" Scar roared, "You should be glad that I spared your life! Gods, it's a good thing that you're the only one who saw that!"

Suddenly, Scar heard three cackling voices from outside his den. The king's eyes widened as three hyenas walked in.

"Shit!" Scar snarled to himself, "Please, Spirits! Just kill me now!"

"Hey, Scar!" Shenzi laughed, "That was quite a performance!"

"Yeah, I thought so, too!" Banzai nodded, "What did you think, Ed?"

Ed replied with a low, taunting laugh. The three hyenas continued to walk to wards Scar, laughing louder with each step. Scar stepped back ward and shook his head fearfully.

"No." Scar pleaded, "L-L-L-Le-Le-Le-Le-Let me explain. No. You don't understand. _No!_ I didn't mean for you to... No, No! Look I only did it because, ... No! _NOO!...Mufasa...Forgive me."_

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_Please review. Tell me what you think. For those who don't know, Scar was originally supposed to say "Mufasa...Forgive me," after he begged the hyenas for his life in the first lion king, and that is why I included it in there. Although, I did change some of the words in his plea. Again, please review. I need reviews. Just no flames, please. This was only a joke. I'll get back to the serious stuff when I get a few more ideas. Otherwise, you have stuff like this to look forward to! ;)_


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